Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
