The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i think my cat just said my name.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
