good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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