elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
