you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
