maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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