I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize