Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
