apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
