theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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