he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
