names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Less talking, more tequila
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
