Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
