My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My balls are so social today.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
