it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
