Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
