God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
