I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
