i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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