so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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