Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
