I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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