that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
