We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
