What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
