Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
