Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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