I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
