Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
