Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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