Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
