basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
