Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
