oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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