I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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