oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
