dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
