That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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