No stitches, just platelets and will power
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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