But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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