Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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