WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is the high leading the old right now
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
