Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize