If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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