went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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