Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
