yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
