Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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