i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
