How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
