No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
