I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize