we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
