it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
