we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
