And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
