and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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