Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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