Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
