Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
