Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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