just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
