After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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