3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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