Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
