grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
