he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
