Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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