3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize