Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
