White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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