I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
