And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
