No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
