Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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