Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
